How to Never be Needy… Build the System First, and Then They Will Come

This article is simply about building systems in your life to ensure that you are never needy for anything.

Literally, this post is about you’ll never be needy for money, relationships, a job, clients – whatever it maybe – this is a law of the universe if you will.

What I’ve learned is, you can never rely too much on one outcome happening. As soon as you are needy for a specific outcome, you are in a place of weakness, and therefore, heavily reliant upon something which is completely out of your control.

The way this affects you emotionally is that you have more built-in pressure. More nerves. And your emotions are gripped in the hands of someone else who has more control over the situation than you do. This, to me, is the definition of neediness and is extremely off-putting and repulsive to other people.

How about, instead of focusing on one specific outcome, you can focus on building the systems and infrastructure that generates many similar potential outcomes – which buy the laws of probability, there will be a success – and thus you can choose from a place of abundance, not scarcity?

I work in recruitment at the moment, and what I’ve learned is, you can never rely on one specific deal happening – because the world is so random, and there are a plethora of random possibilities which take the process out of your control.

You can influence the process but you can’t control the process completely.

Influence

So the answer is, to never depend on one deal happening.  Build a system which creates a large pipeline with a lot of potential deals, and maybe two or three will land. But that’s okay if you lost the rest because you’re still closing more deals overall.

You’re investing that time, which you would have spent chasing one outcome, and re-directing it into the overall eco-system which generates many similar outcomes.

Furthermore, when you have a proper system in place which generates more potential deals overall, it affects you far less if one deal doesn’t land,

And because it affects you less you have more ability and willingness to walk away if the deal isn’t right for you.

Because of which, you will be in the driver’s seat more often, and will have more leverage when it comes to agreeing on terms that you want.

The same principle comes with dating.

If you want that ONE special person in your life, and will do ANYTHING to get them – even to the expense of your own personal dignity, how does that make you look?

It makes you look weak. It makes you look desperate. It makes you look scarce.

Simply, its because you haven’t built the system where you could meet a bunch of potential partners. Instead, focus on the system, not the circumstance. Then, you’re eventually able to sift and filter through the ones which are right for you, and finally, meet the right partner on your terms.

This is abundance, vs scarcity.

So, therefore, the resolution to this blog post is to put energy and focus into building the system, rather than chasing the single outcome.

You can’t control the micro. But you can have a major influence over the macro when you invest in the right systems and infrastructure.

-Josh

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