Had a little depression episode recently where I’ve felt lost. Like I don’t know what my path is.
This also puts into question my relationships up until now. How authentic are they? How real are they? Do the people I care about really care about me? Am I hanging onto something that’s not real?
Such questions always beckon, especially when we’re unclear about our circumstances. And you could say that this is definitely a necessary part of your development because the depression is an awareness that something is not in alignment. Something is not right.
And if you are aware that something is not right, then you can make the necessary adjustments to change or redefine your path and then step onto it.
You see, there are things in life that we can’t be taught, and we have to go through – painful experiences.
The loss of a loved one. A breakup or divorce. The ending of a friendship. Inevitable failure.
Sometimes it is less definitive than this, and it is unclear the source of your suffering. Maybe you aren’t following your path.
Within us, I believe there is a certain intuitive power which, if we listen to, is guiding us to our goals and dreams and to a meaningful existence.
The less you listen to this, the more depressed you are likely to be because you are in the drudgery of life and suffering. Every hard task you do has no purpose. You are running through the motions of life, on the hamster wheel, waiting to roll off and die.
This is because you haven’t defined your own path. And it’s scary to define your own path because you are certain to be criticised – and that hurts.
One of the lessons I’ve learned at 20 years young, is realising that when you let go of the thoughts and opinions of those around you, and you stop chasing friendships of the past, with people who are only half invested, then you allow yourself the room to grow onto new pastures.
Popularity can be an entrapment to your soul and authentic success.
Authentic success is the success that you define for yourself. Not what’s approved of in the social realm.
So it’s important not to listen to the external and trust your intuition a lot more. For that is in touch with something far more powerful than we think.
Note to myself and to anyone around me: be patient with finding your path.
Depression is okay. As long as you listen to your longing and take action.
Me writing this is actually therapy for me because it provides space and context for my struggles.